G.I. Joe: Retaliation (Movie Review)

Disclaimer: This review contains one spoiler.

Okay fine, as bad as it was, I’ll admit I liked G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, but there isn't much to like about G.I. Joe: Retaliation. These Joes blow.

This sequel adds more meaning to the phase 'nothing is better than the original'. A big let-down for me was the fact that they dropped a couple of the good main characters like Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) and Scarlett (Rachel Nichols). At least they kept the charming and always adorable Duke (Channing Tatum) right? Wrong. Ladies if this was your only motivation to agree to your guy’s suggestion of seeing the new Joe movie then let me be the first to apologise. (Spoiler alert) Duke is out of the movie after about fifteen minutes max, so I’d skip the popcorn line.

Contrary to what you may think, this sequel is only that by name. The story is barely linked to the first and can be easily understood by a newcomer, not that the storyline is that great. The President of the United States (Jonathan Pryce) has been captured and replaced by an imposter, the evil Zartan (Arnold Vosloo), part of the COBRA alliance which includes Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee), Firefly (Ray Stevenson) and Cobra commander (Luke Bracey). Their mission is to, yep you guessed it, rule the world, which includes stopping those standing in their way, namely the Joes. Only a handful of Joes survive the surprise attack from COBRA, the aptly named Roadblock (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson), the resident eye candy Lady Jaye (Adrienne Palicki) and the almost-as-cute-as-Channing-Tatum Flint (D.J. Cotrona). Their mediocre acting, together with my favourite character Snake Eyes (Ray Parker...not that you can tell because you never see his face) and newly trained Joe, Jinx (Elodie Yung) seek revenge. They enlist the help of Joe retiree, General Joe Colton (Bruce Willis) who provides some chuckles in the movie.

As bad as this movie was, that’s how good the fight scenes turned out. I was thoroughly entertained by the awe-inspiring, ninja style battles. The non-ninja fight scenes were engaging as well, but for me it’s pretty difficult to fully appreciate what’s going when the camera’s only taking close-ups and the last minute 3D addition only made it worse. Whose hand was that? Who got that kick? I believe I actually removed my 3D glasses once in the beginning to figure out who I was rooting for.  

In a nutshell, G.I. Joe: Retaliation is action packed and worth the watch if you don’t question why anything’s happening. However, if you’re saving that last bag of microwave popcorn for a thrilling, twisting and tantalising teaser, I’d skip this one.

Rating: 6/10

Thanks for reading! Check out my other reviews! Leave me a comment or tweet me @kimberlybadloo

Kim :)